


"You're choking me daddy"

by Illumi_Zoldick, XxsaviorofthebrokenxX



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Choking, Daddy Kink, Fighting, Hair Pulling, I swear this is a joke, Kinky, Licking, M/M, Smut, Unhealthy Relationships, also this is not healthy, cum in hair?, don't use this as a reference for how sex goes, go do ur homework, i dont like hisoka or illumi, if u are tiny child reading this, im really just a smol killugon stan who ended up writing this shit, im so sorry, kinda bdsm?, physically fighting for who tops (although we all know illumi is a bottom), silva is a dilf, they both call each other daddy, too much moaning, trigger warning: canon typical pedophilia mention, wrap it up bitches dont be like them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:53:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29233332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illumi_Zoldick/pseuds/Illumi_Zoldick, https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxsaviorofthebrokenxX/pseuds/XxsaviorofthebrokenxX
Summary: When you and the bitch you’re fucking are trained assassins/murders, your sex life can get a bit interesting/kinky, well, more than a bit, it only gets even more complicated when you’re both tops, well you both say you’re tops.TRIGGER WARNING: CHOKING, CANON TYPICAL PEDOPHILIADISCLAIMER: THIS IS A JOKE. THIS IS CRACK. I DON'T ENDORSE HISOKA OR ILLUMI. IF YOU ARE CHILD GO DO UR HOMEWORK.
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	"You're choking me daddy"

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry.

_Slam._

Illumi’s pushed up against the cold hard wall suddenly, Hisoka’s muscular arm pressing up against his throat. 

“You’re choking me daddy,” Illumi rasps as he pulls Hisoka’s big beefy arm from his neck. He flips their position so that he is the one pinning the clown to the wall.

“Oooooh, you’re not getting off that easy.” Hisoka moans as he licks up Illumi’s bicep.

Illumi pulls his arm away and proceeds to punch Hisoka square in the nose.

“Ooooo yes harder daddy,” Hisoka moans, already getting turned on. He sure was a masochist, yet so was Illumi. 

The long haired boy proceeds to knee the clown directly in the dick. Hisoka’s moan fills the empty room. 

“I will be topping, Hisoka.” Illumi seductively whispers in the other’s ear as he proceeds to pull his hair, roughly. Illumi covers his mouth before he can let out another loud moan. “Uh-uh, my little brother is in the room directly next door.”

“Why can’t he join us?” Hisoka says, like the fucking pedophile he is.

“I will fucking kill you.” Illumi says as he moves away from Hisoka, towards the door. “And because you said that I will not be fucking you.” 

“Oh of course. I will be the one fucking you, my dear.” Hisoka grabs Illumi’s wrist and throws him to the floor in one swift motion. He then proceeds to crawl on top of him and lick up his neck, onto his face. 

“That was nasty Hisoka. Never do that again.”

“Why not daddy?” Hisoka moans as he licks back down his face, he stops at the raven haired boy’s neck. He sucks on some of the skin before biting. Illumi lets out his first moan of the night (it definitely won’t be the last).

Just then a banging is heard from the wall.

“Illumi knock it off! I’m trying to facetime Gon, I dont need you and your pedo boyfriend fucking in the background!” Killua screams from the other side of the wall.

“Quiet down, Mother might hear you.” Illumi somehow yells yet also speaks, for fear that their mother might hear. 

“Whatever. I’m going outside then. Have fun fucking the pedo clown and tell him to stay the fuck away from my boyfriend.” Killua yells through the walls. The door is heard as he slams it and runs down the stairs.

“Finally, that little brat has left. Now we can get to the good part.” Hisoka moans as he goes back to sucking hickeys into his neck.

“Those better not leave marks, I have a very important meeting to attend to tomorrow.” 

“Yeah we get it, you're an assassin. Now i’m gonna fuck you in your ASSassin.”

“That made no sense. Also, I will be the one fucking you.” Illumi says as he struggles to flip them over. He’ll be damned if he gets fucked up the ass by a literal killer clown. 

“Uh uh uh uh, after I’m done with you your ass will be sore for weeks.” Hisoka pins Illumi’s arms above his head. He proceeds to then thrust his groin into the other’s, a loud moan echoes through the room. Neither is quite sure whose it was.

“Fine. I will allow you to fuck me, as long as you stay the fuck away from my brother.” 

“Only if I can top next time as well.” Hisoka thrusts down again. There is no answer, but they both know that it’s a deal.

Hisoka bites down on Illumi’s neck, a low moan sounds from his bitch.

“Oh wouldn’t you like me to fuck you right in your tight little ass?” Hisoka moans into Illumi’s ear. 

Before Illumi can say another word, Hisoka slithers down his body. He proceeds to grasp the other man’s crop top in his teeth and yank it over his head, all in one swift motion. 

“Aren’t you going to take my shirt off?” Hisoka says in that voice of his. 

“I want you to strip for me like the whore you are.” Illumi moans as he cups Hisoka’s dick through his sweatpants. The moan Hisoka lets out could rival Gerard Way’s.

Hisoka slowly and seductively stands up, making sure to brush the bulge in the other's pants as he goes. He stops for a second at the bulge and proceeds to lick. This elicits a moan from the long haired bitch. 

He finally stands up and slowly takes off his crop top. Once the shirt is fully off and on the floor, he crawls back up the other’s body. Before he gets to his face he stops at his crotch, he grabs the waistband of his pants with his teeth and tugs them down. Illumi can’t hold back the moan that escapes him at the sight of his whore taking off his pants with his teeth. 

Hisoka then proceeds to pull his boxers down with his teeth and then he takes the man’s dick into his mouth. Illumi moans, which is sure to have been heard by his mother (and probably everyone else in the house). Hisoka bites down on his dick which causes illumi to moan so fucking loud that Satan himself prolly heard. He slides down the dick, deep throating it. The tip hits the dangly thing in the back of his throat. Thank Bald Kurapika Hisoka doesn’t have a gag reflex.

He begins to bob his head up and down on Illumi’s dick. Illumi moans loudly as his whore sucks his dick. He takes a hold of the clown’s hair and pulls it, pulling his head away as well. 

“I want you to fuck me. Can’t have me finish before you top me.” illumi drags the other’s head up to his lips and proceeds to flip them so he’s on top. He then pushes Hisoka against the ground and licks around his lips before forcing his mouth open with his tongue. From there Illumi licks around in Hisoka’s mouth, before slotting their lips together and kissing him hard with a passion that the two are well aware of.

They continue to make out as Illumi pushes Hisoka’s pants down.

“Are you really not wearing any underwear?” Illumi breathes against the pedo’s lips.

“Of course not my dear. I assumed that this is where this was heading, I didn’t want anything to be in the way of me getting to fuck you.” He smashes their lips together again before pulling away again. “We should move to the wall by the bed. Unless you want to use spit again.” 

“I can’t do that again, as I said earlier i have an important meeting tomorrow.” He breathes, “Can’t be limping too much. Wouldn’t want them to suspect anything.”

Illumi pulls Hisoka off the ground and instead pushes him into the wall. As they continue to make out, Illumi pushes Hisoka towards the nightstand where the lube and other fun stuff is. With tongues down each other’s throats, Illumi opens the drawer and pulls out a mostly empty bottle of lube. The two separate for a second as Illumi hands the bottle to Hisoka. As the clown squirts some of the slimy liquid onto his index finger and middle finger, Illumi grabs a scrunchie to pull his hair back with. 

“Oh no you don’t.” Hisoka says in a commanding voice, “I wanna see your shiny hair stained with my cum.”  
“What the actual fuck Hisoka, just as I think your kinks can’t get weirder you say something like this.” Illumi whispers seductively, although he does put the scrunchie back on the nightstand. 

Just then Hisoka flips Illumi around and inserts his index and middle finger into his tight asshole. He begins to pump his fingers in and out of the tight hole, not even bothering to start slow. Illumi whimpers a bit but then begins to moan as the burn fades away and all that is left is pleasure. 

“C-c-couldn’t even start-t-t slow Hisookaaa,” Illumi moans as he is continuously pushed into the wall, being finger-fucked roughly by Hisoka. 

“OooOooh you like that don’t you daddy?” Hisoka moans as he thrusts his fingers into Illumi. Out of nowhere he adds two more of his fingers, causing Illumi to scream at the pain.

“Uh uh uh, can’t have you alerting your family.” Hisoka moans as he continues to thrust his fingers in and out. He puts his other hand in the other man’s mouth. “You make a noise and I will punish you.”

“Ooooh yess punish-sh me dad-d-dy.” Illumi stutters as he is continuously slammed into the wall. 

“Ooooh you spoke, now you must receive your punishment,” That's when Hisoka removes his fingers from the tight hole, and his hand from inside his mouth. He proceeds to wrap his muscular arm around the other’s neck, choking him.

“Are you ready for me to fuck you hard, my dear?” Hisoka doesn’t wait for an answer, knowing one isn’t coming. Instead he squirts some of the lube onto his hand and begins pumping his dick. Once it is thoroughly coated he shoves his dick into Illumi’s ass, no warning. A strangled scream is let out from the raven haired man as Hisoka draws back out and immediately thrusts forward. 

Illumi’s strangled screams continue as Hisoka furiously thrusts into his tight ass, not stopping for anything. Finally he hits a spot that causes the scream to turn into a moan. His arm pushes harder against the skinny legend’s neck, choking him.

“Hisoka-a I-I c-cant-t bre-eath,” Illumi croaks out, clawing at Hisoka’s arm as the man thrusts even rougher into his hole. Hisoka loosens his arm’s grip on Illumi’s neck, not wanting to actually hurt the man.

“Hisoookaaa I’m about t-to-”

“Not yet.” Hisoka denies the man his relief as he continues to pound his dick in and out of his ass. He grips the man’s long hair with his other hand and tugs it, causing him to moan loudly. 

Finally, Hisoka feels that all too familiar feeling in the bottom of his stomach and he knows it’s coming. He begins to pound faster into Illumi as he gets closer and closer. Illumi is doing everything he can to not come too soon, not wanting to upset the other man further. Hisoka lets out a loud moan as he finally unleashes his load into the raven haired boy’s ass. 

“There you go, my dear. Let it go.” Finally Illumi lets go and unleashes his load onto the dark, cold wall in front of him. The white liquid dripping down the wall as the two men pant. 

Hisoka finally pulls out after a few excruciatingly long minutes. He looks at his bitch, taking in his red, thoroughly-fucked ass, the cum drying in his tangled black hair, and the scratches running up and down his back from their earlier fight. He looks pretty gorgeous, although Hisoka would never admit such.

_Knock Knock_

“sHIT-” Illumi exclaims as he realises the only person who could be knocking at his door.

“Illumi dear, dinner’s ready! Is that friend of yours staying?” His mother says through the door.

Illumi tries to calm his panting before replying: “Yes mother.” 

He pushes Hisoka away as he scrambles to find his forgotten clothes. He tosses Hisoka’s at him and the two of them nonchalantly walk down the stairs, not even bothering to look at their appearances knowing that they both look thoroughly-fucked. 


End file.
